Tag Archives: Hanson’s Boy

Behind every great douche bag is another great douche bag.

Oh, Craig, why can’t you just shut up?

Lifelong friend of Hanson, Craig grew up getting picked on as a youngster, that is, until he met the future champ on the playground way back in second grade.  Tired of hearing his crying, in fact, annoyed by his crying, Hanson stuck up for Craig and beat up the bully that was torturing him.  Oh, how the tables then turned…..

From that day forward Craig has seemed to never leave Hanson’s side.  He remains Hanson’s most trusted friend, doing whatever is necessary for Hanson’s safety and needs.  If you ask Hanson, Craig is his brother and nothing less, holding the loyalty Craig has shown him throughout his life very near.  Craig would say the same.

The two together are sure to always rile a crowd, with Hanson Hansome Kelly serving as the arrogant enforcer and Craig dishing up a seamlessly never ending meal of words.  Craig’s talent for vocal annoyance, aka a big mouth, has blessed him as much as it’s caused him trouble though.  One of his many duties has been to act as Hansome’s hype man.  He has also made a nice side career as a promoter and business entrepreneur.

Craig once may have been the kid everyone picked on, but Hanson made sure Craig learned to hold up his dukes long ago when they were still kids.  So, Craig is actually not a bad boxer himself, although it’s always been more of a hobby for him and a way to further help Hanson through being able to train with him.

When Hanson began training with Henry Page it was actually Craig that introduced the two.  Even as a teen Craig could see Henry was the best option for his friend.  And he continues to only want the best for Hanson.  It’s just too bad for Henry with Hanson came Craig, and with him years of utter pain in his @$$!  But Henry’s learned to deal with Craig.  He’s had to for the sake of Hanson because the champ would rather eat glass than ditch his loyal companion.

The only point anyone can make against Craig’s devotion to his friend is why he wouldn’t speak against Hanson’s decision to sign notorious slime ball Cecil Claremont as his manager.  The truth is Craig talked this over with Hanson to a great extend.  Both decided it was for the right reasons as long as they came at it with an angle in mind.  The two friends agreed Craig should learn as much as he could from Cecil while he managed Hanson, getting on the good side of the well connected manager and infiltrating his network so that one day Hanson can just drop him and have Craig step in, keeping it all in the family.  This is a major step in building their own promoting and entertainment empire.

Not too dumb for a couple of labeled punks.  Maybe there’s more to them than meets the eye.  The question is how well Craig has executed this part of he and Hanson’s “master plan”, as Cecil’s reputation shines with the ability to spot schemes from two miles away.  The snakey Cecil is an expert game player.

Indeed, all in all, Craig’s loyalty to his friend is unquestioned.  The confidence instilled in him from his years with Hanson now busts at the seams, just as his verbal tenacity seems like a beacon everyone can spot from a mile away, often rubbing people quite in the wrong way.  He could care less what people think about him and does what he wants without a care in the world.  After all, as long as he’s got his boy Hanson by his side what does he have to worry about?

The sky’s the limit.  The world is theirs.  All is in place.  Time will only tell….